Yes, this happens. And it’s usually not Jamie Lee Curtis scream worthy on this Halloween—but rather little things that trip us up and prevent a second date from happening!
As a dating coach working with thousands of clients over the years, these are easily preventable:
1. Desperately needy
Shock, I know. Kevin, a 47-year-old CEO in NYC, told me last week that an attractive woman told him in the first 15 minutes of a lunch date that she’d like to re-marry…. primarily for medical benefits. Well, well, well, isn’t that attractive?!?
2. Looking constantly at your phone
This just goes to basic manners. If you are waiting for a super important call, let your date know that immediately when seated and let them know why. Maybe your mom’s in surgery across the country or a big deal closing. We all have these crucial interruptions that can’t be avoided. But a nervous habit of looking at your phone: you appear anxious, self-important or not valuing your date’s time.
3. Talking incessantly about yourself
Yep, guys, I’m talking to you here. I hear this over 50% of the time from my female clients—make sure you are practicing active listening and ask her questions too.
Ready to date? Set up a 15-minute free information call with me to see if we are a good fit. As my clients know, I’m graciously direct and will let you know if I can help or not. And, don’t wait until December/January when I always have a wait list as online dating explodes.
You can sign up this month and we won’t begin the online dating until December 26 or January 1 but at least I’ll have you queued up and ready to date! Book your call here.
Or text me at 702-494-7344 and I’ll get your free call scheduled this week.
4. Don’t choose a place you hang out with your buddies or a Starbucks
Carmela, a 59-year-old doctor, told me how her date took her to a sports bar for a glass of wine. Then he proceeded to watch the game and chat up the bartender he knew well. Uncomfortable at the very least for Carmela.
Ok, coffee is fine, but please no Starbucks. Why? Michael, 42, an attorney told me his date chose one of the tiniest Starbucks in San Diego and adjacent tables had a fun time listening to their first date. Yep, you know it—no second date came of this one!
5. Not punctual
Yes, LA has traffic. Make sure you have your date’s cell phone number—even if you are going to be 5-10 minutes late. Most daters are a tiny bit nervous meeting someone the first time—and this just adds to the angst. What’s the saying? 10 minutes early is on time. So, plan accordingly. This could be the one!
Bonus Tip: Don’t drink more than two cocktails. Never over imbibe on a first date—we all know alcohol can make us sloppy and perhaps overshare personal things we never would have had we had one glass of wine! And, if you are a non-drinker, don’t order water.
Ok, maybe these sounded basic to you. But working with a lovely, upscale group of singles as a dating counselor, I’m still astounded at what intelligent people can do on dates!
Happy Halloween, my friends….and Happy Dating!
Life, Love & Laughter,
Dating Counselor/Dating Consultant